Sparks Fly
by CherryCrush23
Summary: "You know, I feel like I should still hate you."  He smirked, "I feel like you should too.  But I love you too much to let you hate me."
1. Warning

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters**

**Summary: Haley James hated Nathan Scott with every fiber of her being. He ruined her life and she was never going to forgive him for that. Being forced to spend time with him was truly the last thing she would ever want to do.**

**Chapter 1: Warning**

_September 23rd, 2010_

The sounds of the dark woods outside her room were the only thing that accompanied her most nights. She could hear the faint sounds of birds in the distance and the train that ran through the winding woods. The breeze flowed through her window and danced over her legs. She could feel the goose bumps rising on her legs but she didn't reach for her blanket. The way she thought of it she was lucky to feel anything at all. Since that night she wasn't going to take anything for granted ever again. She reveled in the feeling of goose bumps now.

Haley James looked down at her right leg and grimaced at the ugly scar that now laid on her skin. She stared at it for what seemed like hours but in actuality was probably only a few minutes. Her fingers traced over the raised skin and she let out a sigh. Looking up she glanced over at the wall next to where her bedroom door sat. Her crutches leaned against the wall as a cruel reminder of the night just a few months ago. Lately she'd been trying her best to get around without them, but there were times when she had to accept defeat and use them. She hated times like those. But more than anything she hated what they represented. To her they were weakness.

Crossing her arms over her chest she sat back more into her pillows. Something caught her attention from the corner of her eye and she turned her head towards the window. She saw the light in the upstairs room of the house next door turn on. Nathan's room. Just thinking about him she began to feel unease and discomfort fill her senses. He wasn't home was he? He couldn't have been. Someone had to tell her when he was going to come home. Right?

She sat up again and moved her legs over the side of the bed. She could feel the dull throbbing pain in her right thigh as she tried to stand. She quickly grabbed onto her leg and tried to rub the pain away. Putting the thought of pain out of her head she made her way towards the window, slowly. When she reached it she shoved the glass of the window up more so she could lean out. Squinting her eyes, she tried to get a better look into his bedroom. Now, of course she didn't want to see him. She never wanted to see him again in her life. But she had to know if he was back. It was going to eat at her until she knew for sure.

After staring towards his room for a few minutes she finally saw someone walk into the room. But it wasn't Nathan. It was Brooke.

Brooke used to be her best friend. Brooke used to be the person she talked to about anything. Brooke used to be a lot of things, but since that night, she wasn't anything anymore. Haley figured that Brooke probably blamed her for what happened to Nathan. When really, she should have seen it from Haley's side. It was all Nathan's fault, not Haley's. But Nathan was her brother. Apparently the bonds of family were stronger than the bonds of friendship. Who knew?

Haley backed away from the window and slammed it shut. She hated thinking about that night. She hated thinking about losing Brooke, she hated thinking about losing everything. But most of all, she hated Nathan. This was all his fault. He was drunk that night. He was the one driving the car. He was the one who hit her. He was the one who took her future away. He was the one who ruined everything. How could she ever forgive him for that?

**Bat your eyes girl, be otherworldly,**  
**count your blessings, seduce a stranger.**  
**What's so wrong with being happy?**  
**Kudos to those who see through sickness.**

**When she woke in the morning**  
**she knew that her life had passed her by.**  
**And she called out a warning,**  
**"Don't ever let life pass you by."**

* * *

It's funny how when you leave a place for a long time and then come back, nothing seems to have changed. The houses in your neighborhood are the same color as they were when you left. The usual cars still parked out front. The stop signs sure are the same. Unfortunately, it's all the same. And unfortunately the same red Ford Focus is parked in the same spot on the driveway next door.

Nathan Scott hated the idea of being back. Juvy sucked, but Tree Hill sucked even more. He rested his head back against the headrest behind him and waited for them to pull into the driveway. When they did he wished more than anything he could get in the drivers seat and drive away. But he wasn't allowed to drive again until he turned 18. Fuck, that was a long time. He groaned and reached towards the handle so he could open the door. When he did he was suddenly hit with the cold air. He got out of the car and pulled a duffel bag out with him. Slamming the door shut, he looked up at the house he'd known since he was little.

It looked the exact same.

Deb Scott walked over to her son and wrapped her arm around him. "I'm so happy you're home sweetie," she said and smiled at him. Nathan smiled back but opted to keep his mouth shut. He really couldn't say that he was happy to be back. That would have been the biggest lie he could ever tell. Things were going to suck now that he was home. He had to work his ass off to get his grades up so he could graduate next year with everyone else in his class. Plus he would have to work his ass off, even more, to get back on the basketball team. Hell, that was if he could get Whitey to even consider letting him back on.

He made his way towards the house and before he walked through the door he looked up at the house next door. Her light was off. He wondered if she was asleep. He wondered if she knew he was coming home. He wondered how much she hated him. He hated himself so he could only imagine how she felt about him. Not that he could blame her. He knew that he fucked everything up with her. He knew that there was no way in hell that she was ever going to forgive him for what he did to her. How could she?

He looked away from her house and walked through the door. The lights were on and again everything looked the same. There was take out on the counter so he knew that his dad and sister hadn't bothered to cook for themselves. Not that it was a surprise. Dan Scott never did anything for himself and Brooke could hardly make toast. It was always him and his mom that would make the meals for the family. He wondered how much take out they'd had while he was away.

"You're home!"

He turned around and saw Brooke standing in the doorway to the kitchen with a big smile on her face. She wore a pair of sweats and a tank top with a pair of pink slippers on her feet. He smiled at her and she quickly made her way towards him before throwing her arms around her brother. Holding her tightly he took in the simple act of hugging his sister. Before he left he would admit that there were times when she pissed him off and times when he swore he wanted to kill her, but when it came down to it, he loved her. She was his sister after all.

"I missed you!" she said and pulled away from him. She took in the fact that his hair was now shorter than it had been when he left. It looked like he'd buzzed it and it was starting grow back. "Are you so excited to be home?" she asked.

"I guess," he said.

"You guess?" she said and scoffed, "well come on it has to be better than jail!"

"Not jail Brooke."

"Ok Juvy, whatever."

Letting out a quiet laugh he walked past his sister nudging her with his shoulder as he went by. He was exhausted and all he wanted was to fall asleep in his own bed for a change. That was something had missed. His bed. He could practically hear it calling his name. "Good night Brooke," he called over his shoulder.

"You're welcome in advance for putting new sheets on your bed," she said, "I feel like the ones that were on there were on way before you even left. Which is disgusting by the way. There's probably essence of Rachel all over them."

Nathan laughed again, "ok thank you," he said before going up stairs. As he walked along through the hallway he passed pictures of him when he was little, and pictures of him from the previous year. His face showed that he was so unaware of what would happen to him in the future. He wished he had a time machine so he could go back and warn himself. Tell himself not to fuck things up completely. Warn himself that he was going to lose Haley and all the good things about his life if he didn't get his shit together.

He walked into his room and shut the door behind him. The dark comforter that had always been on his bed was still there. The trophies still lined the shelf like they had before. His Eminem poster still hung on the wall next to his stereo. He kind of liked that this was the same as it had been before. He didn't want his room to have been changed. He dropped his bag to the ground before going over to his stereo and pressing the play button. He had forgotten what CD's he'd left in there. A few seconds later the sounds of T.I. filled his room. Turning the volume dial down a bit, he then took the opportunity to look for something to change into. He opened the drawers and pulled out a pair of black basketball shorts.

He stripped his t-shirt off and then his jeans and let them fall to the floor with a thud. He slipped the shorts on before walking over to the light switch and shutting off the light. He slowly made his way over to his bed and fell down against it. He could feel the tension running through his body as he tried to relax. It seemed impossible to find a position that was going to be comfortable. He'd only been laying down for a few minutes, but it felt like forever. There was no way that he could lay that was going to be comfortable. He tossed and turned until sitting up again.

He ran his hand over his short hair before standing up and walking back towards the dresser. He looked at himself in the mirror and noticed a few bruises that stood out against his skin on his chest. He touched them lightly and remembered the fight a few days ago that caused them. That was the fight that almost had him staying there longer. But it wasn't his fault. He didn't start it. Luckily, some guards had seen the fight start and had actually vouched for him. Staring at the bruises he couldn't help but think that this was nothing compared to what he'd done to Haley.

He tried to shake the images out of his head. He didn't want to think about that. He wished that he could put the whole thing behind him. But that wasn't something that you could just live down. It didn't just go away no matter how much you wished it would. It was going to be around for the rest of his life. Every day he was going to think about what he'd done to her.

Sighing he opened the drawers again before pulling out a long sleeve white t-shirt. He slipped it on and then grabbed the pair of Nike's he'd been wearing earlier. He put them back on his feet before grabbing the basketball that sat in the corner of his room. He opened the door and walked down the hall and back down the stairs. On his way towards the front door he saw the light was on in his dad's study. He had to know that he was home. Apparently he was just going to ignore him for awhile. His dad was pissed about the whole situation. He hadn't bothered to come see him while he was gone. The last thing he said to him was that he'd just ruined everything they'd worked for. And he was right. He had ruined everything.

**I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal.**  
**When will we learn? When will we change?**  
**Just in time to see it all fall down.**  
**Those left standing... will make millions... **  
**writing books on the way it should have been.**

**When she woke in the morning**  
**she knew that her life had passed her by.**  
**And she called out a warning,**  
**"Don't ever let life pass you by."**

* * *

The jitters were too much for her to take. She couldn't sit still for more than a minute or two. She tried to read but she couldn't concentrate so she tried to sleep. But she couldn't. Was he home? That was the only thing she could think about. She couldn't force herself to think about anything other than him. And she hated herself for that. She didn't want to think about him. She wanted him to disappear from her life. After everything was that too much to ask?

Sitting up she threw the blankets off her legs and slowly stood up. Again pain shot up through her leg but she ignored it as she went to reach for a sweatshirt from her desk chair. She pulled it on over her head and then went to grab the pair of Ugg boots that sat on the ground next to her bed. She slipped them on and then walked towards her door. She paused for a moment looking at the crutches and groaned before grabbing them. Her physical therapy had been going well, but not enough to where she didn't need them completely.

Opening her door she heard the hinges squeak, but she hoped it wasn't too loud. The light was off in her mom's room, she could see that from down the hall. Placing her crutches under her arms she hobbled along down the hall, trying to make as little noise as possible. Her mom would probably freak if she saw that she was trying to leave.

And what was she going to tell her? It wasn't like she even knew where she was going. She couldn't tell her what was going on, because she didn't know.

She got to the stairs and switched one of her crutches to the other hand so she could grab the railing. She used that to steady herself as she walked down the stairs, ever so often checking behind her for any sign that her mom knew she was awake. When she got downstairs she opened the front door with and reached for the key that would unlock the glass door. When it opened she was suddenly hit with the cool night air and she wished that she'd been wearing sweats instead of shorts.

After making it outside she stopped to stare at her car. She sighed and wished that she could drive again. It was going to be awhile until she could. She wondered if she was going to have to re learn how to drive. She hoped not. After a few minutes she continued walking and made her way down the sidewalk. It was hard to get anywhere very quickly with the crutches, but she was better at using them now then when she first got them.

She had been walking for awhile and suddenly she noticed that she was at the river court. She hadn't been there in a long time. She used to go there with Brooke all the time so they could watch the boys who played down there. It was always the same crowd. Lucas and Jake, Nathan, Skills and sometimes other boys from the team. Brooke always loved to come down so she could watch Lucas. Haley didn't mind tagging along, but sometimes it got old.

She hobbled along through the grass until she got to the cement of the court. When she did she could hear the sounds her crutches made as they thudded along the hard ground. She could feel the pain in her leg as from making it this far and she tried to get over to the picnic table as quick as she could. The crutches were holding her back so she dropped them and hopped over to the table. Sitting down on the table top she looked down at her leg. It looked the way it had for a long time, but it hurt a lot at the moment. She should have known that walking all the way here was a bad idea. And now she was going to have to walk all the way back.

She turned herself around on the table and faced the water. She could feel the misty breeze hit her skin and she tried to soak it all in. The distant sound of the tug boat on the water accompanied the sounds of crickets in the grass. She had never realized how peaceful it was here at night. Usually there were always people here with her when she'd been around. But now it was quiet. She really liked it. Sitting there on the table under the stars she almost felt like she was the only person in the world. Like everything that had happened, might have actually never happened.

But looking down at her leg she knew that she was wrong. She couldn't fake that feeling for long. She ran her hand through her long dark blonde hair and swept it over her shoulder. She sat in the silence for a few minutes until she heard a familiar sound getting closer to her. It was the sound of a basketball against the pavement. Maybe it was Lucas. She turned around and was shocked by who she saw walking towards the court. He was staring down at the ground, he hadn't even noticed her yet. Not that he would.

She could tell that his hair was shorter and through his shirt she could see that his arms were a little bigger. But through all of that she could still see the same Nathan Scott that she had known all her life.

Feeling her jaw clench she waited for him to look up and see her sitting on the table. When he finally did she saw the surprise on his face. He must have been as surprised as she was. Why was he here? Didn't he have a court in his driveway? She knew he did because she'd seen it when she left her house. But better yet, why was he even back in Tree Hill? He should have been far away from here. This was too much to handle right now. She was supposed to know in advance when he would be home. She was supposed to have time to think about what she would say when she finally saw him. At the moment it felt like she'd lost all ability to speak.

"Uh," he said, staring at her. "Hey."

Haley was the last person he expected to see at the court right now. It was late. Why wasn't she asleep? Why was she here? It wasn't like her to just come here to hang out by herself. At least it wasn't like her when he'd known her. He had been away a long time. He saw the crutches on the ground and then he looked back up at her and instantly his eyes went to her leg. He could hardly make out the scar in the dark light, but he could still see it. He saw what he'd done to her.

Looking up at her face he saw that her mouth was closed tightly and he could see the anger in her eyes as she stared at him. Not that he blamed her. He would hate anyone who had taken away his future too. "H-How are you?" he stuttered. He could feel the awkward tension filling the cold air around them. She didn't answer him but continued to give him a hard glare. Of course she wasn't going to want to just chat with him. "Right," he said, "never mind then."

In that moment she wished that she could run. She would run so fast just to get away from him. Seeing him in front of her brought her right back to that night in May. She could see it all like it was yesterday. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs. She wanted to tell him how much she hated him. She wanted him to see what he'd done to her. How he'd ruined her. She was never going to get out Tree Hill now because of him. She hated him so much and she couldn't even form the words to tell him.

"Look Haley," he said, "I know that there's nothing I can say that's gonna change things and my apology probably doesn't mean much to you, but-"

"It doesn't," she said and he could hear the harsh angry tone of her voice.

"I know," he said, "but I am. Sorry I mean. I never really got to tell you how sorry I was. You were in the hospital and I wasn't allowed to see you-"

"I know what happened," she said, "you don't have to remind me. And like you said you're apology doesn't mean anything."

She pushed off the table and stood on shaking legs. She could feel her whole body shaking and it wasn't because of the cold. The anger and nervousness ran through her body like she'd been struck by a lightning bolt. It came on so strong and she just wanted to get away from there. She slowly made her way towards where she'd dropped her crutches and she leaned over trying to pick them up. She could feel herself wobbling as she tried to grab them and suddenly she felt a hand on her arm. "Let me help you." She stood up quickly, almost losing her balance. She flinched away from his touch like he'd burned her.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled.

"I was just trying to help-"

"I don't need anything from you, especially not you're help. All I need is for you to never speak to me again."

She leaned down again and grabbed her crutches before placing them under her arms. She tried to make her way away from him as quickly as she could. She didn't want to look at him and she didn't want to feel his eyes on her. She wished that he would just vanish. She wanted him to leave her alone. Why did he have to be back and why did he have to be there tonight? Of all the places they could have gone, why did they have to be in the same place? She knew that now that he was back she was going to have to see him a lot more. But she wanted to pretend like he didn't exist. If she saw him, it was going to be like seeing someone you'd never met before. As far as she was concerned, he never existed. He was nothing to her anymore.

**Floating in this cosmic jacuzzi**  
**we are like frogs oblivious to the water starting to boil.**  
**No one flinches, we all float face down.**

**When she woke in the morning**  
**she knew that her life had passed her by.**  
**And she called out a warning,**  
**"Don't ever let life pass you by."**

**Please review(:**


	2. Same Night Sky

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters**

**Thanks so much for the reviews on the first chapter ya'll! inspiration for this story comes from Leaving Paradies by Simone Elkeles**

**Chapter 2: Same Night Sky**

_February 17th__, 2010_

Nathan stood at the 3 point line and bounced the ball against the gym floor. He could hear the loud sounds of the crowd surrounding him but he tuned them out. He looked down at where the ball left his hands and bounced against the floor. Bringing it up one last time he twirled it in his hands before getting his stance ready. He stared up at the basket and then shot the ball effortlessly through the red rimmed hoop. A familiar smirk graced his face as he watched the ball fall back to the ground. He could hear the cheering from the student section and from his teammates as he ran back down the court. He couldn't deny that he loved this moment. He loved living it over and over again.

There was only 2 minutes left in the game and the Ravens were now up by 3. Cove City was a good team, but the Ravens were better. He knew this was a night he was never going to forget. They were going to be state champs in just under 2 minutes and the clock couldn't wind down fast enough. He knew that when they won, he would never feel more proud of himself then he would in that moment.

He watched as one of the players from Cove City geared up to shoot the ball. Making his way through two players guarding him he quickly prepared to block his shot. When he saw the ball beginning to soar through the air he jumped up quickly and grabbed the ball from the air. Without thinking twice he began to dribble the ball down the court back towards their hoop and he could hear the sounds of the eager crowd. When he got close enough he jumped up and shot the ball back towards the hoop. It bounced on the rim and he could feel his nerves kicking in as he thought there might be a chance that it might not go in. Seconds later it fell back into the hoop and he released all the air in his body through a sigh of relief.

In just a few more seconds he heard the buzzer sound and he knew that they had just won. His teammates jumped around him and he could feel their hands slapping on his back. He saw Jake Jagelski make his way towards him. The bright look of excitement evident on his face. Nathan smiled back before slapping his hands together with his friend. He couldn't deny that this was one of the best moments of his life. He glanced over to the side of the court and saw Haley next to Brooke. Both of them jumping up and down and cheering happily.

He felt a pair of arms encircle him and he turned around and faced Rachel who had her arms tightly wrapped around him. He smiled before leaning down to kiss her lips. "Good job baby," she said with a smile on her face before leaning up to whisper in his ear. "That definitely deserves a reward later."

He smirked, "from who? You?"

"Of course me," she said, "who else?"

He leaned down and kissed her again. When he pulled away he saw Haley standing over on the sidelines with Brooke and Lucas. He also saw Erik Fowler. He was pretty good friends with Erik. He was on the basketball team with him. He knew that Erik had a thing for Haley. He was pretty sure anyone could see that. Except maybe Haley. She didn't seem to notice how he felt about her. Sometimes Nathan felt like Haley didn't really see how amazing she was. She was obviously pretty and funny and incredibly smart. How could someone not fall for her. If they weren't such good friends, he might have liked her too. But she was out of his league anyway. And he had Rachel.

"Where's your head? Are you even listening to me?" Rachel said getting Nathan's attention again. He looked at the redhead in front of him and half smiled.

"Of course I'm listening," he said.

"Well come on Super Star," she said, "we have some celebrating to do!"

* * *

_September 24__th__, 2010_

The building looked exactly as it had last year. Not that he expected it to change. But still, maybe a little different would have been fine. But no, it was completely the same as it had been before. The same painted blue rock out front with his number in silver paint. The same cars parked in the usual places in the parking lot. "Why are you just standing here?" he heard Brooke ask as she walked up next to him. "You act like you've never been here before."

"No," Nathan said, "I was just noticing how… the same it is."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest while waiting for her brother to continue.

"It's just that…" he trailed off, "never mind."

"Ok?" she said, "well I'm gonna go."

Nathan watched as she walked off towards the doors and inside. He let out a sigh and followed slowly after her. He was dreading this moment. The moment when the news spread that Nathan was back. The second he walked through those doors, everything was going to change. People would be so different to him now. Afraid of him. Not just afraid like they used to be when they thought he might beat the shit out of them just for the fun of it, but afraid of him because he was the kid who was in Juvy. He was the one who had hit Haley James when he was driving drunk. He was the one who fucked up everything.

Walking through the doors he felt every pair of eyes land on him only seconds later. Some people looked shocked like they thought he was a ghost. Did they honestly think that he'd been locked up for life? The looks on their faces said that's exactly what they thought. He felt like yelling 'sorry I'm back. I'd leave if I could.' But then he thought it probably wasn't a good idea to make a scene. Letting out a sigh he walked down the mostly silent hallway. He knew that his locker would be next to Brooke's. When he reached it he saw her and Lucas standing there. Lucas looked up and smiled at him.

"Hey man," he said and stuck his hand out to him. "It's good to see you!"

He knew that Lucas would be supportive of him being back. He'd always been that way. Lucas was their cousin, and one of their best friends. But he was also Haley's best friend. Nathan could only imagine that he felt completely in the middle of all of this. That's how he would have felt if he was Lucas.

"Thanks," Nathan replied softly.

"Weird being back?"

"Yeah, really weird. Everyone's like freaking out."

"Duh," Brooke said, "you were in jail."

"Not Jail," Nathan said reminding Brooke, who shrugged.

He walked over to his locker, "same code," she told him and he turned the lock to open it. When he did he saw it was already full of books and notebooks. "I got them for you last week when I found out you were coming home."

"Thanks," he said. He also saw his schedule taped to the inside of his locker. He smiled again before grabbing his US History book and notebook. When the bell rang he turned and headed for his first class since he was back. As he walked down the hall he could hear the buzz of whispers around him and he couldn't help but shake his head. He knew eventually something would happen and they would get over the fact that he was back. He hoped that was soon. He never really liked being the center of attention. Except when it came to basketball. But this, this was so different.

Walking inside the classroom he saw everyone look up and stare at him as he stood in the doorway. Everyone fell silent as they looked at him. He ignored the looks and headed for a seat in the back of the class. He dropped his back pack to the ground and placed his book on the desk. "Nathan!" he heard someone call his name and he looked up at the door. He saw Tim Smith rush into the room and towards the seat next to him. "Nathan! You're back!"

Nathan laughed a little, "nothing gets past you."

"Oh thank God, Man. You don't know how boring things have been without you. You were gone all summer!"

Nathan shook his head. Did he really think that he didn't know that. "Yeah," Nathan said, "I'm pretty aware of that."

"We gotta have a party to celebrate you coming home!"

"I don't really think that's a good idea Tim."

"What?" Tim asked, confusion evident in his voice. "Why?"

"I'm not really supposed to be partying. And I'm definitely not allowed to drink. I have to focus on school."

"That's boring," Tim said, "come on. It'll be fine. Just a small party."

"Right," Nathan scoffed, "your parties are never small parties."

"Please Nate?" Tim practically begged, "I promise it'll be fine."

"No," Nathan said, "I'm gonna have to pass."

"Tim are you still trying to get Nathan to hook up with you?"

Nathan looked up and saw Rachel standing in front of his desk looking down at Tim. Her hair was longer now, even a little darker than the last time he saw her. She wore a pair of jeans with a tight black sweater. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she wore a look of annoyance on her face. Come to think of it, that was kind of always what her face looked like. She turned her eyes away from Tim and down at Nathan. "Hey Nate," she said, "good to see you back."

"Thanks Rach," he said, "it's good to see you."

She smiled before walking over to the desk on the other side of Nathan and sitting down. Nathan thought she would have said more to him but instead she leaned forward in her seat and started to talk to Bevin who was seated in front of her. Nathan couldn't help but think that was odd. He was sure that Rachel would have been happy to see him. She was practically attached to his side 24/7 before. But that was before. Apparently things had changed a lot when he was away.

He let those thoughts pass as soon as his teacher began to teach class. He paid extra attention, even took notes for the first time in a long time. He was going to turn over a new leaf. He as really going to try hard this year. It wasn't going to be like last year. He couldn't let it be like last year.

* * *

All anyone could talk about was the fact that he was back. Anywhere Haley went that's all she heard people talk about. Even the teachers wouldn't shut up about it. So what? Why was it such a big deal to all of them? Sure, it was sort of a big deal to her, but only because she'd been dreading that day when he would come back to Tree Hill. But why did everyone else have to freak out about it? Was it truly that amazing? In the hallways she heard some of the guys talking about how that now that he was back the Ravens had their chance back at getting to state. And the girls, she was about to slap someone. All they could talk about was how he'd gotten even hotter. She didn't understand what the obsession was. It had to be the whole bad boy thing. But even still, she didn't want to hear anymore about him. She didn't even want to hear his name.

"Haley?"

She looked up and saw Erik sitting across from her looking at her. "I'm sorry," she said, "my minds sort of somewhere else."

"Yeah I noticed," he said, "let me guess, it's Nathan right."

Haley rolled her eyes a bit and nodded.

"I figured. Everyone's sort of freaking out about it."

"I know," she said, "I wish they'd all shut up."

Erik nodded. He knew that this probably wasn't the easiest thing for her right now. It had to suck to have everyone so excited that the guy who had ruined your life was back in town. He felt bad for her. This was something that she probably wouldn't ever get over. Not that he could blame her. You don't just get over something like that.

"I know this is probably a stupid question," he said, "but how are you doing with all this?"

"Well," she said, "I mean it's not like I didn't know that he was going to come back. Obviously he would. I just thought I would have more time. I thought someone had to tell me when he was coming back. I didn't think I'd just see him one night. But of course that would happen to me."

"I'm sorry Hales," Erik said, "I'm sure this isn't easy."

"Far from it actually," she said and let out a sigh. She looked down at the books on the table in front of them. "But whatever. I'm supposed to be tutoring you," she said, "so we should get back to that."

"Alright," he said with a smile, "let's get to it."

Erik had come to Haley at the beginning of the month. It was only September but his grade in Pre Calc was already slipping and he needed help. Of course she'd agreed to help him and she'd even helped him get a B on his last test. He was so proud of himself and she could see it on his face and hear it in his voice when he told her about it. She loved helping people, being a tutor was one of the greatest things she could do now. Plus, she really liked Erik. He was a sweet guy and he was funny. When she'd first met him he was quiet and shy but the more she got to know him the more she liked him. She definitely counted him as one of her good friends.

After sitting there for a few minutes he looked up at her. "Can you check this?" he asked and slid his notebook towards her. She looked down at the problem and reviewed his steps before smiling and sliding it back to him.

"You've got this," she said, "there's no way you don't ace this quiz today!"

"You think?"

"I know!"

He smiled shyly at her before looking back down at his work. He knew that without her there was no way that he would have gotten this. "Haley?" he asked and she looked back up at him. "Do you think…" he trailed off and ran his hand over his short light brown hair. "Do you think you'd wanna hang out sometime? Like not tutoring, but just hanging out?"

"Uh," she said, "like a date?"

He smiled, "yeah, like a date."

She smiled, "yeah I think I'd like that."

"Really?" he asked, almost surprised.

"Of course."

"Great," he said before looking back down at his notebook. He couldn't deny the fact that he was surprised that she'd said yes. He always figured that Haley would be with a guy who was just as smart as she was. Not someone who needed her help with homework. He hated to admit it, but he almost didn't feel good enough for her. But he liked her so much and he was really glad that she'd said yes. Now he felt like he could concentrate better on his math. All session he'd been worried about when he would finally ask her out. He knew he was going to do it today, but he was surprised that he'd gotten over his nerves and actually done it. But he was glad he did. If he hadn't, he would always be wondering about what she might have said.

When the bell rang he closed his book and packed it into his bag. That was the last class of the day and he was going to go to the gym. He had started weight lifting and was already training for basketball season. He was going to take them to state this year. He'd always been a great player, but people just fawned over Nathan Scott. But not this year. He was going to be the one who took them to state.

He watched Haley stand up and reach for her crutches. He saw the frustrated look on her face and he picked up her books off the table. "I can get them," she said.

"I know you can," he said, "but I want to."

She smiled and placed her crutches under her arms before making her way towards the door with Erik behind her. They made their way out into the busy hall and when they reached her locker she looked down the hall and saw Nathan standing at his. She'd heard people talking about him all day but she'd somehow managed to miss him all day. It was probably because she'd put all her books in her back pack and carried them with her all day so she wouldn't have to go to her locker. She was going to make it through this year without talking to him if she could. Without seeing him would be the best, but she had a feeling that wouldn't happen.

Erik looked down the hall were her gaze was planted and saw Nathan at his locker. He looked away from him and back towards Haley. He could see the tension running off her body in waves. He hated that she had to feel that way. It wasn't fair for her. He knew that things were already hard enough for her. "You ok?" he asked.

Haley nodded, "yeah, I guess I just need to get over it."

"Nah," Erik said, "I wouldn't expect you to just get over it."

Haley shrugged and then went back to putting her things back in her back pack. She hated that Nathan was back, but she didn't want to let it get to her. If she did, then it would just eat away at her. She didn't have to talk to him, and she wasn't going to. She was just going to ignore him. He didn't exist in her mind. She wished that he really didn't.

* * *

Nathan sat on the kitchen counter while the tall man in front of him spoke to him and his parents. Chuck Battle had been brought on as Nathan's… well his Parole officer. It was his job to make sure that Nathan stayed out of trouble, and out of juvy. He had seen a lot of kids like Nathan, kids who had taken just one wrong turn and because of it they ended up in a lot of trouble. Sometimes, those kids were able to turn their lives around, sometimes it was harder than that. But he was determined to help Nathan. He knew what it was like to make one mistake and have it weigh down on you.

"Nathan get off the counter," Deb said to her son. Nathan jumped off the counter and then crossed his arms over his chest while he listened to the man in front of him. He didn't think it was necessary to have him here. It wasn't like he needed to be babysat now that he was home. He wasn't going to make the same mistakes that'd he'd made before. It just wouldn't happen. He wasn't going to let himself become a screw up. At least not more than he already was. He wanted to turn things around so that he could get out of this town. Tree Hill was wearing him down and he absolutely hated it here.

"I'm gonna be checking in on you every week and see how things are going. I'll be checking at your school to make sure you're keeping your grades up. School should be your top priority right now. We want you to graduate on time with everyone else."

"I've only missed a month."

"But this year is important," Deb said, "you need your grades to be good, just in case basketball falls through."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked turning to face his mom. "It's not gonna fall through."

"It's just more important that you focus on your grades right now Nathan," Chuck said.

Nathan looked at his dad. Now Dan Scott would choose to be quiet. Normally he would be arguing about how important it was that Nathan get to play basketball. He would be arguing about how they were just ruining their plan. But he was being surprisingly quiet. Nathan wasn't sure what to make of that. Was he just building up his anger for later? Was he planning on causing a fight about basketball later? Or did he just not care anymore? The thought that maybe he'd given up on Nathan hadn't failed to enter his mind. How could his dad not be pissed that he'd been put in juvy. He had to be pissed that because Nathan was away he didn't get to go to High Flyers over the Summer.

"Alright," Nathan said, "whatever."

"It's really important," Deb said.

"I know that," Nathan said. "Look am I done here? Is there anything else you need to say to me?" he asked. He wasn't trying to be rude, he just really didn't want to talk about this anymore. He didn't need people telling him how important it was that he get his life back together. He knew all that.

"There's one more thing we need to talk about," Chuck said.

"What?"

"Haley James."

Nathan felt his nerves kick in at the mention of her name. What was there to talk about? He knew what'd he'd done to her. It wasn't like he need a refresher. "What about her?"

"I know that since you live right next door to her and you go to the same school, it's going to be hard, but you have to stay away from her as much as possible. This is a hard situation and we don't want to make it any harder. She wasn't notified that you were going to be home and her mom filed a complaint with our office. She doesn't want you anywhere near Haley when at all possible."

"It's not like I'd hurt her."

"I know that Sweetie," Deb said resting a hand on her shoulder, "but we don't need things to be any worse. If we can just avoid them as much as possible then it's better. I know you and Haley were friends, and I'm sure this is just as hard on you as it is on her, but-"

"Whatever," Nathan said, "I'll stay away from her. Is that all?" he asked.

Chuck nodded his head and Nathan hurried out of the kitchen. Of course he was going to avoid her as much as possible. Wasn't that a given? Why would he try to see her? She hated him. She made that pretty clear last night at the River Court. He wasn't going to make it any worse. He wasn't stupid.

He grabbed the basketball he'd dropped by the door last night and walked out the front door and towards the driveway. The basketball hoop was still in its place. He shot the ball towards the net and watched it go through effortlessly. He'd missed basketball. It was one of the few things that he'd missed when he was away. Sure, he'd missed his family and friends, but they'd all changed when he was away. But basketball was constant. The rules were always the same. The game never failed him.

He continued to shoot the ball through the hoop a few more times. The last time the ball rolled past his feet and down the slope of the driveway. He watched as hit the tire of the car that was parked at the end of the driveway. It was a black GMC. It was Rachel's car. The door opened and she stepped out of the large car. Her long red hair fell over her shoulders and she pulled a black leather jacket on tighter to herself. "Hey Nate," she said, "I see you're not busy," she said picking up the ball and bouncing it back towards him.

"Guess not."

"Good," she said and walked closer, "we need to talk."

"Yeah I figured," he said and shot the ball towards the hoop and it sailed in again.

"I see you haven't lost your touch," she complimented. Nathan shrugged and bounced the ball on the pavement a few more times before looking back up at her. She pushed her hair back behind her ears and then crossed her arms over her chest. "Look," she said, "you need to know something, now that you're back. After you went away, it was hard for me. I've been seeing someone."

"Ok," Nathan said, "I figured you would."

"Yeah," she said, "but, um, it's Felix."

"Taggaro?" Nathan asked.

Felix Taggaro was one of Nathan's good friends. At least he used to be. Apparently that all changed after he left. He couldn't deny the fact that it hurt that Rachel had moved on. He loved Rachel and it was hard to hear that she was with someone else. Especially that she was with one of his friends. But he couldn't say that he was surprised that she'd moved on. She was never good on her own. She needed a guy, and apparently Nathan just wasn't that guy.

"Yeah," she said, "we started going out in June."

"I left in May. At the end of May."

"I know," she said.

"So you waited, not even a month before you moved on to one of my friends."

"Nathan don't act like this. You're the one who left me."

"Not by choice!" he said, "it's not like I thought it would be a good idea to go to Juvy. Trust me that wasn't my idea."

"Whatever," she said, "I came here to tell you the truth. I should have known you'd act like this."

Nathan shook his head before turning his back to her and shooting the ball towards the hoop. He really didn't want to hear this. He thought that he would be ok if she had moved on. He thought it would have been with some random guy that she'd met. Not one of his friends. And not even a month after he'd left.

"I missed you Nathan," she said walking up to him. "I missed you so much."

"Yeah I bet," he said, "good thing Felix was here to keep you company though."

She put her hand on his cheek and directed his gaze back to her. "I know you're mad now, but you'll get over it. And who knows what'll happen now that you're back. We've always been kind of perfect for each other Nathan. Maybe in time things will go back to normal."

He took her wrist in his hand and moved her hand from his cheek. "You should go home Rachel."

"Ok," she said and moved her hands back to her sides. "But just so you know," she said, "I really did miss you."

"That's great."

She rolled her eyes and started to walk back to her car. She turned her head over her shoulder and looked at him one last time before getting back into her car. She had always been like that. Coming by at the most random times to drop the most inconvenient news on him. Some things changed a lot, and some didn't change at all.

* * *

Haley stood by her window and watched as Nathan and Rachel talked in his driveway. She hadn't meant to spy on them. She really could care less what he did with his time now. But when she heard the sounds of the basketball on the court, she couldn't help herself and she went to look. When she did she saw him shooting hoops in his driveway. Of course he was just as good as he'd been last year. It really wasn't fair. He was still just as talented as he had been before everything that happened last May. But not her. Everything she was, was gone.

A few minutes later she watched Rachel pull up. Of course. His number one groupie would be back at his side. She watched them talk and from the looks of it, he looked mad. What were they talking about? She knew that she was being nosy, but she couldn't help herself. She didn't know why she wanted to know so bad, she knew that she shouldn't care, but she did care. No, she thought to herself, she didn't care. She rolled her eyes at them before walking back to her bed and sitting down on her pillow top mattress.

She looked at the photo album that laid on her bedside table. She'd pulled it out earlier and she was going to look at it before she'd heard Nathan in his driveway. She leaned over and picked it up before flipping it open. The pages were full of pictures of her from when she was younger, and then there were pictures from just last year. Back when things hadn't changed. Back when she could still dance. Back when it didn't kill her to just walk around at home or school.

The pictures showed her dancing on stage, during performances. Some of the things looked so intricate and hard, but back then they were second nature. Like her body was made to move that way. She was normally a klutz during everyday life, but when she danced, she was graceful and elegant. She missed it so much it hurt. The day the doctors told her she might never dance again she thought a part of her died. Dance was what was going to get her out Tree Hill. It was going to keep her from being a waitress in Karen's Café for the rest of her life. But not anymore. Nathan took that away from her.

She slammed the album shut and dropped it on the floor. She couldn't look at it anymore. It was hurtful. It was just memories of things that would never be again. She could feel the tears in her eyes as she thought about it. She would give anything to have things the way they used to be.


	3. The Descent

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters**

**Thanks for the reviews ya'll(:**

**Chapter 3: The Descent**

_November 18__th__ , 2009_

The music flowed through out the whole room and she let the sounds move through her body. It was like it wasn't even her who was in control of her own body. She moved effortlessly and her body flowed perfectly. She watched the reflection of herself in the large mirrors in front of her. She rose up on her toes and moved through out the room, going over everything that she'd been practicing. She couldn't deny the sense of self pride as she watched herself in the mirror. Everything she'd been working towards was paying off, she was proud of herself.

When the music ended she jumped when she heard a voice from the door. "That was really good."

She turned around quickly and saw Nathan standing in the doorway. He was wearing a pair of jeans and his letter jacket over a blue sweater. His hands were in his pockets as he stood there watching her. She hadn't noticed him before, and she wondered how long he'd been standing there. She went to the CD player that sat in the corner of the large studio and shut it off. She stood up again and faced him. "Thanks," she said with a smile, "you really think so?"

"Yeah Hales," he said, "I didn't see all of it, but I saw most of it and you looked really good," he paused for a minute, "I mean you're dancing looked really good. Not that you don't look good, too, I just meant-"

"I got it," she said with a laugh. "And thank you." She went to grab her bag that sat next to the mirrors. She threw her sweatshirt on over her head and then took her hair out of the bun that held it up. Taking a seat on the floor she began to untie her shoes, seeing the red blisters that were now on her heals and toes. "Where's Brooke?" she asked, "she was supposed to pick me up."

"Yeah," Nathan said, still standing in the doorway, "she's still working. She asked me if I could come pick you up."

Haley nodded, "oh. Ok, well thanks."

"Yeah no problem."

She threw her shoes in her bag and slipped on a pair of Ugg boots that sat next to her bag. When she stood up she looked at herself in the mirror. She wore a pair of shorts with a tank top that was now covered by her sweatshirt. She could feel the sweat in her hair from her earlier practices and the soreness in her feet was hard to ignore. She couldn't wait to get home and get in a hot shower. That sounded like heaven right then.

Seeing Nathan still standing by the door she turned around. "Sorry," she said, "you probably wanna leave," she picked up her bag and walked towards where he was standing.

"It's fine," he said, "no worries."

She smiled at him again and the two of them walked out of the room. On the way out she said goodbye to the women who worked at the front desk. She'd known them since she started taking lessons when she was little. All she'd known was dance since she was 5 and she knew that she never wanted to give it up. She loved it too much. It was one thing where she felt like she belonged. Nathan had basketball, Brooke had her fashion line that she was going to start, and Haley had dance. She was sure that nothing was going to stop that.

Walking through the parking lot towards Nathan's car she felt the cold air surround her. She couldn't stop her teeth from chattering as she waited for him to unlock his car. When he finally did she hurried into the front seat. She heard Nathan chuckle as he started the car. He turned the heat up and she rested her hands against the vents waiting for hot air to heat up her chilled hands.

Nathan turned on the radio and began to pull out of the parking lot. The song that played was one that Haley didn't recognize. She blushed at the lyrics as the singer sang about making the girl feel like a virgin again. Haley looked out the window hoping Nathan hadn't noticed the look on her face. But she couldn't help it. How did people sing songs about things like that without feeling embarrassed. Maybe it was just her, she knew that Brooke and her friends teased her a lot because she was the "Angel" of their group of friends. She was the innocent one, and she just wasn't used to talking about sex with her friends.

She heard Nathan laugh and she turned and looked at him. "What?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said and laughed again, "just I can pretty much hear you blushing, that's all."

She turned in her chair and smacked him on the shoulder, "shut up Nathan! I'm not blushing."

"Of course you are," he said, "I'd be more weirded out if you weren't."

"I hate you," she said with a laugh and she could feel her cheeks flaming up even more, "I wasn't blushing."

"Well you sure are now."

"Can you just drive?" she asked and settled farther back into her seat.

Nathan laughed and nodded before looking back at the road. Haley was funny like that. Something as simple as the lyrics of a song could make her blush, he didn't understand what there was to be nervous or embarrassed about when it came to things like sex. But he also wasn't a girl. Maybe it was just a girl thing to get like that. But it didn't seem like other girls were that nervous about it. Maybe it was just a Haley thing. He glanced back at her and he could still see the embarrassed look on her face. It was pretty cute.

"So," Haley said, "where's Rachel?"

"What?" Nathan asked, breaking out of his thoughts, "oh, she's with Bevin I think."

"Should have known," Haley said, "Bevin's practically her Tim."

Nathan laughed, "fortunately for Rachel, I don't think Bevin's that bad."

"That's good," Haley said, "so I guess I should ask, where's Tim?" she laughed and waited for Nathan's response.

"Grounded," Nathan said with a laugh. Haley was right, Tim was usually where ever Nathan was. It was weird for him to be somewhere without him. But since Tim's parents found the empty bottles of alcohol after his last party, he'd been under strict house arrest. Sure, Tim was one of his best friends, but he couldn't deny that he was enjoying the time without him for a change.

Nathan pulled into his driveway and shut his car off. The ride from the studio back to his house felt short. He almost wished that he would have taken the longer way back to their houses. He liked talking with Haley, she was funny and made him laugh and smile in a more genuine way than most people. She had always been one of his friends, but the times when it was just the two of them were few and far between. "Thanks for the ride," she said and opened the door.

"Yeah," Nathan said, "anytime."

"Well if Brooke keeps up the hours at the mall then I might need a ride again," she said with a smile. "Well I'm gonna get inside. Thank you again."

Nathan smiled and watched her walk across the grass towards her house. He waited until she was inside before getting out of his car and walking inside his own. He hoped that Brooke would have more hours at the mall.

* * *

_October 5__th__, 2010_

**Have you ever felt like you're starting to slide**  
**down the side of a hill at the bottom where you will lose your mind?**  
**So many contributing factors to hide**  
**aint never will find what's hidden inside**  
**all your friends surround you**  
**they're made out of air**  
**they act like they do**  
**but they don't really care**  
**that just leaves the sickness**  
**the music in me**  
**take my medicine and then you'll see**

In the days that Nathan had been home, he was sure that he'd done more homework in those few days than he'd done in his whole life. It wasn't like they were making him catch up on the months worth that he'd missed, but he was actually doing the work that was assigned. Normally he would have put it off, or just not have done it at all. But he found himself with a lot of free time lately. Whitey still wasn't sure if he would let Nathan back on the team for the games starting in December, so Nathan wasn't training for them. And not having a girlfriend left him with a lot of a lone time.

The whole not having a girlfriend thing, was still weird to him. He was used to Rachel's texts and calls and random visits. But now, he barely saw her unless she had a class with him. And there were only two that they had together. But sometimes he did see her between classes. Normally her face was attached to Felix's. It was pretty disgusting. He wondered if that's what they looked like when they had been together, and if it grossed every one else out as much as it grossed him out. If so, he actually felt bad now. That wasn't something he would have wanted to see.

Plus, he just didn't like seeing her with him. It was weird, but it really bugged him. He really hadn't expected her to have moved on so quickly. Not that he expected her to just sit around pining for him, but he thought she would have cared a little bit more than that. Apparently not though.

Sitting on his bed with his homework spread in front of him, he tried to concentrate on his pre calc homework, but he couldn't wrap his head around it. It wasn't like he'd ever been a math genius, but this was ridiculous. None of it made sense and he was trying to teach himself concepts that he'd missed from the month before. But it just wasn't coming to him. It probably wouldn't come to him. Plus, there was just too much on his mind for him to pay attention to this.

He'd tried to ignore the fact that he saw Haley's light go on in her room out of the corner of his eye. He really tried to pretend like he hadn't seen anything. But he couldn't stop himself from looking up and out the window towards her room. It was stupid really, he shouldn't have cared whether or not she was there or not. To be honest, he was a little pissed at her. He knew that he'd ruined everything, for the both of them, but it was like every little thing she did was just rubbing it in his face. Like her mom calling in to complain about the fact that they didn't know he was coming home. Like he was some threat to her life now that he was back. He never meant to hurt her, that had never been what he planned on. He wished they wouldn't act like he would kill her.

He shut his book and pushed it away from him. Staring at it was getting him no where. He got off his bed and opened the door before walking out. He was done just sitting at home doing nothing. All his homework was done, except for math and there wasn't anyway he was getting that done. As he walked past his dad's office he saw that the light was off, obviously he wasn't home yet. Nathan felt like he barely saw his dad anymore these days. And his mom was working a lot too. Apparently everyone in his family wanted to avoid him like the plague.

He opened the front door and walked down the sidewalk. He wasn't sure where he was planning on going. And it wasn't like he had a car to get him places. But he had to get out of his house. It was like a prison in there. And he'd had enough of the prison feel.

He turned when he saw lights from a car coming up behind him. He recognized Jake Jagelski's Red Chevy coming up the road towards him. He slowed his pace as Jake pulled up next to him and rolled the window down. "Hey Man," Jake said, "where are you going?"

"I don't really know," Nathan said and ducked his head down for a second before looking back up, "I was just kinda walking."

"Well wanna come with me to Karen's? I was supposed to meet Brooke there like 15 minutes ago and I totally forgot. I could give you a ride if you want."

"I don't know," Nathan said. He knew that Haley worked there. At least she did before he left. If she still worked there it might be weird for him to show up.

"Come on," Jake said, "no ones really seen much of you since you've been back. You should come with me."

"Alright," Nathan said and opened the door before getting in the passenger's side. He knew that Jake was right. He really hadn't seen many of his old friends since he'd been home. He'd been avoiding people mostly. It was easier to keep to himself now that he was back. It kept him out of trouble. But he did miss his old friends. He really missed the way things were before he messed everything up.

"What have you been doing since you've been back? I mean I barely see you at school or anywhere really."

"I've been trying to get myself caught up with school and stuff. It's not really going that well but I've been doing homework since I got home pretty much."

"Wow," Jake said, "that sucks."

"You have no idea."

"You're gonna play basketball this season though, right?"

"I don't know," he answered, "I want to. It just depends on whether or not Whitey let's me. He's still deciding whether or not he's gonna give me a shot."

"I'm sure he will," Jake said, "we need you on the team this year. I mean don't get me wrong, we've got a lot of good players, but we need you. You're our best shooting guard."

"What about Erik?" Nathan said, "he's pretty good."

"He's really good actually. He's been training all Summer. He actually got your spot at High Flyers."

That Nathan didn't know. He never heard about Erik taking his spot at camp. Not that he was really surprised. They had to replace him with someone and it made sense that they would go with Erik. But something about that didn't sit well with him. He never liked the feeling of someone being better than him. He liked to be the best. Especially when it came to basketball. It was a selfish feeling, he knew it, but it was just the way he was. He liked to be the one that they wrote about in the papers. Nathan Scott brining the Ravens to another victory. Nathan Scott helps Whitey Durham get his 600th win. Those were the things they wrote about in the papers. If that stopped, he wasn't sure how he would deal with it. Sure, Erik was his friend, but he didn't want him taking his spot.

"Really?" Nathan said, "I didn't know that."

"Yeah," Jake replied, "he was gone all Summer."

They pulled up to the café and Jake parked the car right in front of the windows. Nathan looked in and saw Haley standing behind the counter. He let out a sigh. He shouldn't be there. He really hated that he had to stop going to places that he had always gone to just because she would be there. Maybe if he just avoided her then there wouldn't be a problem. He sure hoped so because he was going in there.

He got out of the car and the two of them walked inside. Nathan was instantly met with the warm air of the café. It was just as welcoming as it had been before. He hadn't been back there since he left. He'd forgotten how much he missed it there. He walked inside and he felt like the whole place had gone silent. He inwardly rolled his eyes as he walked with Jake toward a table where Brooke and Peyton were sitting with a few some of his friends. Jake sat down next to Brooke and kissed her on the cheek.

"Way to be about 20 minutes later than you said you would be," Brooke said.

"I know I'm sorry," he said, "I lost track of time. Plus I was nice and gave Nate a ride."

Brooke looked up at her brother, "hey try not to steal my time with my boyfriend now that you're back, will ya? Just because you guys were friends doesn't mean you replace me now."

Nathan laughed as he took a seat next to Peyton. "Yeah I'll try my hardest."

"Much appreciated," Brooke said before turning in her seat and talking to Jake.

Peyton turned and looked at Nathan. "So Nate," she said, "how was life on the inside? I mean how did you hold up?" He could hear the joking tone in her voice so instead of answering he chose to just laugh a little and shake his head.

"I think I held my own just fine," Nathan said with a laugh.

He stopped laughing when a glass of water was set down in front of him. He looked up and saw Haley. She avoided his gaze and then put one down in front of Jake. He thanked her and she smiled before walking away from the table. Nathan turned to watch her. He saw her limp and he couldn't help but cringe. That was all because of him. Right then he felt like getting up and leaving. He knew she must have hated that she had to wait on him. He felt bad that she had to. "Maybe I should go," Nathan said.

"No," Brooke said, "you shouldn't have to leave because of Haley. She doesn't have to wait on us, Luke can."

"No," Nathan said, "I should go."

Standing up he was about to walk towards the doors when he saw his Aunt walk behind the kitchen. He hadn't really seen much of her since he was back. She smiled and waved him over. He knew now was not a good time to go over there but he couldn't ignore her. He made his way over when he saw Haley had gone to wait on another table. "Hey Nate," Karen said when he got to the counter, "I haven't seen much of you lately. How are things since you've been back?"

"Eh," he said with a shrug, "they could be better. But it's ok. Hopefully things will get back to normal pretty soon."

"I'm sure they will," she said, "your mom tells me that you've been concentrating a lot on school. You keeping your grades up?"

"I'm trying to," he said, "some of it's kinda hard since I've been a month behind everyone else, but it's my own fault. I'm the one who's gotta get me caught up. But I also have to find a job soon. And convince Whitey to let me back on the team."

"You got a lot on your plate," she said, "but you know if you need a job I can always give you one here. Some nights Jake might need help, it's probably not easy being the only bus boy. Plus with Jenny," she added.

Nathan nodded and turned to look at his friend. Jake sat next to Brooke with a smile on his face. This was one of the few nights that he actually had off. Nathan knew that having a one year old daughter couldn't be easy. Plus balancing school and job on top of it. It was no wonder he was having a hard time deciding whether or not he would play basketball that season. Nathan knew that if he were in his shoes, he wouldn't be able to do it. Jake was a strong guy. A lot stronger than he came off as.

"Yeah," Nathan said, "but I don't know if it'd be good with me working here. I mean just because of.." he trailed off when Haley walked behind the counter. She again didn't look in his direction. She grabbed the pot of coffee from the coffee maker and walked out from behind the counter and towards another table. "She hates me."

"You guys used to be such good friends," Karen said, "I'm sure you can make your way back to that eventually. Plus this can't be easy on her, with you back. Everything that happened, it changed everything for her. She just needs time to get her life back and it's probably not easy."

"I know that," Nathan said, "and not a day goes by where I don't think about how I ruined everything for her. I don't want to make it any worse on her. If I can avoid her and let her avoid me as much as possible then I will. I'm not gonna put her through anymore."

Karen nodded and then looked back up at her nephew. "I'll tell ya what," she said, "I'll talk to Haley. I'll explain to her that you need a job and that I offered you one. If she decides that it wouldn't be the best idea, then we'll go from there. But I have a feeling, knowing Haley as well as I do, that you'll be working here pretty soon."

Nathan looked at Haley again and watched as she smiled and laughed with her costumers. "I don't know Karen," he said, "like I told you, she hates me."

"It might seem like that now, but Haley has a good heart. I don't think she could ever truly hate anyone."

Nathan shrugged, "I hope not but it's not like I could blame her."

Karen smiled sympathetically at her young nephew. "Things will work themselves out. It won't always be like this. I promise."

"We'll see." He stood up from the chair at the counter, "I think I'm gonna take off," he said, "I shouldn't really be around her anyways." He said his goodbyes to his friends and his aunt and on his way out the door he walked past Erik. He wasn't really surprised when Erik went straight towards the counter and began talking to Haley. It seemed like time that Erik finally made a move on her. Nathan always knew that he liked her, but he never did anything about it. Before everything he might have encouraged him to make a move, but now, the idea of the two of them didn't sit well with him.

* * *

Nathan walked through the front door and was about hurry up the stairs until he heard the voices of his parents. They were in his dad's office, and they were clearly fighting. He took a step towards the door and tried to hear what they were saying. He heard the angry voice of his mother from under the door. She was clearly pissed.

"He's your son!" she yelled angrily, "he made a mistake and you're going to hold it against him his whole life? He paid for what he did, hell he's still paying for it! It'd be nice if his father gave a damn about him and could show that he did!"

"I can't do anything to change what he did! And I'm not going to pretend it didn't happen! Deb he's screwed up everything and there isn't anything anyone can do that can make that go away. I'm not just going to pretend that things were as great as they were before. Sorry but I won't do that!"

"Fine! Don't pretend like it's the way it was before! I don't want you to do that! I want you to try and fix your relationship with our son!"

"I'm done talking about this," Dan said.

Nathan could hear the quiet and stern tone that was in his father's voice. It said that he was done. He didn't want to hear anymore about it and he didn't want to talk about it either. Nathan took a step away from the door and hurried up the steps before his mother could come out of the office. He didn't want her knowing that he'd heard what they were saying. It would only make her feel bad. And the only person who should feel bad was Nathan. He was the one they were talking about. He was the one who's fault it was.

Making his way into his room he shut the door behind him before pulling his t-shirt off over his head. He went to his dresser and grabbed another t-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. He changed into them before collapsing on his bed. He was tense. He could feel it all over his body. He had a feeling that he would be feeling like that for awhile. There wasn't really anything he could do that would change things. He couldn't take away all the stress and everything he'd been feeling. The only thing that could day that away was if he could take back that night. Which obviously, he couldn't do.

He laid in his bed for a few minutes taking in the sounds of silence before there was a knock on the door. He turned his head and faced it and saw his mom open the door. "Goodnight Sweetie," she said with a smile on her face, like she hadn't just been yelling at his dad.

"Night mom," Nathan said back before looking away from the door.

"Nate," she said before walking out, "I'm really glad you're home. I missed you so much."

"I missed you, too."

She smiled again before walking out of his room and shutting the door behind him. He looked up at the ceiling and let out a sigh. He hated this. He hated it here. He wanted to get out of Tree Hill so bad. But he had no idea how. May 26th guaranteed him a stay in Tree Hill forever.

**The sun go down**  
**and so are we**  
**I'm screaming at you**  
**but you don't hear me**  
**am I alone or am I crazy**  
**the ghost will come around for you inevitably**


	4. Best Not to Think About It

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters**

**Thanks for the reviews ya'll(: please keep em up! Also.. Some of you were hating on Karen. Don't! I mean come on it's Karen! I know it seems kind of insensitive to Haley for her to offer Nathan a job but I'm sure she has something up her sleeve… ;)**

**Chapter 4: Best Not to Think About It**

_October 12, 2010_

Haley stood in the kitchen looking down at the plates in front of her. She was double checking to make sure the order was right before she brought them out there. Well, if she was being honest she was waiting until Nathan was on the other side of the café. She didn't want to be anywhere near him and at the moment he was next to the table that had ordered the food in front of her.

He'd been working at the café for a week and she hadn't spoken a word to him. She planned to keep it that way. She had absolutely nothing to say to him. And it wasn't like he had anything to say to her either. He'd already tried to apologize. But like that night, she didn't want to hear it. Sorry wasn't going to make her dance again.

She watched him walk over to another table and start to clear it off. She took that as her cue to finally bring the food out. Her leg actually wasn't hurting that bad that day and she hoped that she was going to be able to make it all day without her crutches. That had been a goal of hers for awhile. Just one day without her crutches. If she could do that, she could do anything. Well, not anything, but it was a start.

She placed the food down on the table and smiled and apologized for the wait before walking toward the counter to grab the pot of coffee. She heard a crash and turned her head and saw that Nathan had dropped one of the porcelain coffee mugs on the ground and it had shattered. He sighed before placing the large gray tub full of dishes on the table and bending down to start to pick up the bigger pieces.

Haley rolled her eyes before grabbing the dust pan from under the counter. That was the 3rd time he'd broken something since he'd started working here. What was his problem? She walked over to him and dropped the pan on the ground next to him. He looked up at her and then back at the ground before grabbing it. "Thanks," he mumbled. She didn't respond, just nodded before walking back to the counter.

It wasn't that she wanted to help him. God knew he didn't deserve her help. But if he was going to be picking up the broken shards of the glass he was probably going to cut himself. If he did that he was going to bleed all over the floor, and then who would have to clean that up? Oh yeah, she would.

She couldn't wait until Jake got to work. Without him and Karen in the café it was incredibly awkward around the two of them. Neither wanted to speak to other. Not that they would. But at least with Jake or Karen around she had someone else to talk to.

Haley looked up at the clock above the door about every 10 minutes just waiting for her shift to end. When it was over though came her next least favorite thing besides spending time around Nathan. Physical therapy. It served as a constant reminder that everything was different now. That she couldn't dance and she might not ever be able to again. Plus, it always hurt like a bitch.

The bell above the door rang and Haley looked up expectantly hoping that it was Jake. She was disappointed to see that it was only Felix Taggaro. She rolled her eyes. Another one of Nathan's friends. Of course. She watched him walk over to where Nathan was finishing up picking up the broken glass.

"Hey man," Felix said quietly.

Nathan looked at him but didn't say anything before he started to walk towards the counter. He walked behind it and dumped the broken shards into the large trash can under the counter. He was surprised when Haley didn't walk away to a different section of the café when he got closer to her.

Haley couldn't hurry away without it being completely obvious. She wasn't stupid, she knew that he knew she was avoiding him. But short of breaking into a sprint and running away she couldn't get away yet. And too be honest, she was interested in what Felix was here to say to him. From the look on Nathan's face when Felix walked in, Nathan really wasn't happy to see him. Maybe they weren't that great of friends anymore. Who cared if she was being nosy.

"So I get it," Felix said, "you hate me right?"

"Why would I?" Nathan asked.

"Look, me and Rachel… I'm sorry. I didn't plan on it. It just happened."

"Whatever," Nathan said, "I don't care. Really."

Haley busied herself at the register while listening to what they had to say to each other. Maybe that's why Nathan had looked so pissed that night that Rachel came to talk to him. Haley shook her head. She'd tried to warn him about that a long time ago. He didn't want to listen to her. That was his own fault.

"What we did… it was shitty and I'm sorry. But I really like her and we're happy together-"

"That's great," Nathan interrupted. "Now was there a point to you being here?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"Well you did."

Felix hung his head and looked down at his shoes before looking back up at Nathan. "I know you hate me still but there's another reason I came here." Nathan didn't say anything back so Felix continued. "I'm having a party at my house tomorrow night. You should come. Everyone misses you Nathan. You should get your life back to normal."

"I'm not really supposed to do much partying."

"You don't have to drink if you don't want to. You should just come by for awhile. Like I said, we all miss you."

"Yeah well, we'll see."

Felix nodded before looking over at Haley. "You should come too, Hales."

"What?" Haley said looking up at him and trying to act as if she hadn't been listening in on their hushed conversation.

"Party at my house tomorrow night," he said again, "you should come. I'm sure Erik's going. Aren't you guys dating now?"

How was that any of his business? "We'll see," she said in response to his invitation.

"Well I hope to see you both there," Felix said before walking towards the door. As he opened it, Jake reached the other side.

Haley smiled when she saw her friend walk through the door. She untied her apron and tossed it to him over the counter. "I gotta go," she said, "I have physical therapy. I trust you can manage while I'm gone," she said as she walked around the counter.

"I think I can handle it," Jake said.

Haley said goodbye before walking out the door. She didn't give Nathan a look before she left. God, she wished he would just disappear. She should have said no to Karen when she had the chance.

* * *

Sitting in the waiting room Haley let her mind wander. All day she'd been thinking about whether or not she should have said no to Karen when she talked to her about Nathan working at the café. She felt like she should have. It would have been less awkward for everyone, wouldn't it have? But now it was too late.

Still thinking about the day when Karen had approached her Haley couldn't stop replaying that moment in her head.

_The early Sunday morning rush was always out of control. Haley was hurrying through the café trying to fill peoples orders, their coffee cups, get their orders to Karen and bus the tables. Sometimes, it was hard being one of the only employee at Karen's Café. Especially with her leg hurting like it was. She'd been walking better and better without her crutches and she was really proud of herself, but on the days when she was working as hard as she was, sometimes she wanted to give in and tell Karen she needed a break. _

_She came behind the counter when she had a break from orders for a little while. She dropped her pen and pad of paper on the counter and her hand went down to her leg. She tried to rub out the pain she was feeling, but it was hardly helping. It was almost making it worse. She couldn't help but wince at the contact from her hand. Ignoring the pain, she tried alleviate the pain. She could feel the jagged scar through the material of her jeans. Just the thought of it was almost worse than the pain._

"_You ok Haley?" Karen asked walking towards the counter from the kitchen. She saw Haley bent over rubbing her leg. She told Haley that anytime she needed a break to just let her know and she would understand. But Haley was stubborn, and she would have rather pretended that there was nothing wrong in the first place. Karen understood that. Haley had always been that way, ever since she was little. But sometimes, she could see it on her face that she just needed a break. Even if she refused to ask for one. _

"_Yeah," Haley replied, "it's nothing."_

"_You sure?" Karen asked, "why don't you sit down for awhile? I can take care of some of this. Besides Jake should be here soon."_

"_But he's bringing Jenny today," Haley said, "he's gonna have to keep an eye on her while he's working. I don't want him to take on my work load too. Besides, I'm fine. My leg just hurt for a little bit. It's fine now."_

_Karen nodded, "ok Haley. If you say so."_

_Haley nodded and grabbed her pen and paper off the counter and was about to walk from behind the counter when she saw the couple that had just come in and sat by the window. "Before you take care of them," Karen said, "I need to talk to you about something."_

_Haley pushed her hair behind her ears and rested against the counter, taking weight off her leg. "Ok," she said, "what's up?"_

"_Well, since you and Jake work so much, I figured it would be good if you guys had some more help. I mean it's great when Lucas can work here, but you know he works with Keith most of the time. And Nathan… well he needs a job. He's trying really hard to get his life back on track. I offered him a job here. But I told him I would have to talk to you about it first."_

_Haley was silent for a moment, trying to take in what Karen was saying. At just the mention of his name her heart began to race and she began to feel nervous. But when Karen told her that she offered him a job, she was rendered speechless. How could she do that? Obviously, he was her nephew, but she had to know how Haley would feel about that. _

"_So," Haley began, "I'm confused. Are you saying you want me to quit? Because I honestly don't think I can work here if he'll be here."_

"_Of course I don't want you to quit. I'm sure you're mad at me for offering him a job here, and I understand that. I just want for both of you to get back to normal. And I don't think avoiding each other is normal. I know that you are mad at him, you have every right to be. But what I think you both need is just time to get things back to normal."_

"_I," Haley began but was at a loss of words, "I… I just don't know what to say."_

"_You don't have to say anything now. You can think about it. And you in no means have to say yes. I will completely understand if you say no. I just want you to think about it for a little while."_

_Haley didn't want to think about it. She didn't want to think about anything having to do with him. She wanted to say no right now. She wanted to say that there was no way she could be anywhere near Nathan Scott. She didn't want to be around the boy who had ruined her life forever. That was absolutely the last thing she wanted. But she couldn't. she couldn't bring herself to say anything. She knew that she should have told Karen the truth, right then and there, but she couldn't._

_Karen smiled at the younger girl before grabbing the coffee pot and walking over to the table that Haley had been planning on waiting on. Haley turned back around and rested her elbows against the table and then rest her head in her hands. She felt like her whole day had just been flipped upside down. And it wasn't even noon. Now all day she was going to be thinking about Nathan. The absolute last person she wanted to think about. "Hey," she heard from the other side of the counter. When she looked up she saw Erik standing on the other side._

_She couldn't help the smile that came to her face when she saw him. He had away of making her smile even when she was pissed off. He did that a few nights before when he came into the café after Nathan had left. He'd also don't it the day Nathan came back to school. Erik was sort of amazing in that way. He just had that personality that made him likeable. He was funny and sweet and she really liked him. He had away of changing her mood to that one of a happy one. "Hi," she said with a smile._

"_Are you ok?" he asked, "you looked a little upset when I walked in."_

"_I'm ok," she said, "just… Nathan stuff."_

"_Oh," he said and frown came over his face, "shoulda known."_

_Haley shrugged, "Karen offered him a job here. But she's leaving it up to me to decide whether or not he'll actually work here."_

"_So he's not gonna work here then," Erik said, "I mean, you wouldn't want him to work here."_

"_I don't," Haley said, "but I just don't know. I can't really make a decision right now."_

_Erik nodded. He knew that Haley must have been having a hard time trying to decide what she was going to do. If he were her, he would have already said no. There was no way that he would let the guy who ruined his life anywhere near him. But, he wasn't Haley. She was kind and she thought about others before herself. That was something he really loved about her. She was always trying to help others. That's how he'd really gotten to know her. And he was so glad that he had gotten to know her._

"_I'm sorry," she said, "I'm always doing this to you."_

"_It's ok," Erik said with a smile, "I like that you like to talk to me about stuff. Even stuff that pisses you off. I just wish he wasn't always around to constantly remind you of… what happened," he said not knowing if he should say anything more."_

"_I hate it too," Haley said, "but it's not your problem. I shouldn't always talk about it when we hang out. You must think I'm really boring."_

"_Absolutely not. You think if I thought you were boring I would have as big of a crush on you as I do?"_

_Haley smiled and leaned across the counter. "I guess not."_

"_Speaking of which," Erik said, "when are you gonna let me take you out?"_

Haley was broken out of her thoughts by the sound of Aaron's voice calling her name from by the door. Aaron was her doctor. He'd been working with her since she was in the hospital. He had made it his mission to get her to be able to walk without a limp before Christmas. She couldn't wait to tell him that she'd been walking all day without her crutches. She hoped that meant her leg was improving.

Standing up she slowly made her way over to where he was waiting. They walked back into large room with work out equipment where she always had her therapy sessions. Each session had been getting more and more intense and had caused her to use her leg more and more. It hurt like hell but she hoped that it would mean that her leg was getting stronger. All she wanted was for it to be good enough for her to dance again. That was her biggest goal.

She laid down on a table and waited for Aaron to start stretching out her leg. The only thoughts in her head were how she hoped that today would be the day she would find out that she might be able to dance again.

* * *

Nathan laid on his bed and tossed a basketball up towards the ceiling. He'd been doing that for about two hours. He couldn't think of anything else to do. Now all he did on the weekends was work, or spend time alone in his room. It kept him out of trouble. If he was out of trouble, Chuck Battle was out of his hair for awhile.

The ball fell back down into his hands and he twisted it in his palms before tossing it back up. Before he had a chance to catch it he heard a knock on his door. He turned his head when it opened and saw Brooke standing in the doorway. "Hey loser," she said and then crossed her arms over her chest.

"What's up?" he asked and looked back at the ceiling before tossing up the ball again.

"Is this what you're planning on doing all night?" Brooke asked.

"That was the plan, yeah."

Brooke scoffed. "Why don't you get your ass out of bed and come to Felix's party?"

"Because that sounds like the exact opposite of fun." Nathan caught the ball in his hands and sat up and looked at his sister who was still standing in the door.

"Because he's dating Rachel now?" she asked. "Come on Nathan. It's not like Rachel's that great of a prize anyway. Besides, Felix is probably saving you from some serious STDs."

Nathan laughed a little and shook his head. "Come on please?" she asked. "Everyone's gonna be there and you haven't really hung out with any of us in forever! You've turned into like a pod person. Please?" she asked again.

Nathan looked over at her saw her pouting at him from the door. "Fine," he said. He stood up and walked over to his closet and grabbed a black sweater and threw it on over his white t-shirt. He then slipped his white Adidas on his feet before walking out the door with Brooke.

They made their way downstairs and out the front door and towards her sky blue bug. He got in the passenger seat and waited for Brooke to start the car. When it did he heard the sounds of the horrible music she listened to blast from the speakers. He turned his head and looked at her with a scowl on her face. Brooke just shrugged before pulling out of the driveway and speeding out of their neighborhood. "Maybe you could drive a little more careful," Nathan said.

"Shut up, Nathan."

* * *

As they pulled up in front of Felix's lake house, Nathan could already hear the loud music playing from inside. The sounds of everyone voices and laughter buzzed around him as he got out of the car. As soon as the car was locked Brooke was already hurrying up towards the front door. Nathan walked slower. He didn't really have any reason to hurry into the party. What was he even here for?

He kept walking toward the door and on his way he noticed all the cars that were here already. Most of them he couldn't place with specific people but some he could. Jake's Chevy was parked a ways away from where Brooke had parked. Tim's gray Bronco was parked in the driveway. And of course Rachel's black GMC. Looked like everyone was coming out tonight.

He walked through the front door and was surprised when everyone didn't immediately stop talking and start staring at him. It felt like that's what everyone did at school. Maybe they were finally over the fact that he was back. Whatever the reason for it was, he was grateful. That was definitely the wrong kind of attention.

"Nathan!" he heard from behind him and didn't even have to turn around to see that it was Tim. "You're here! I didn't think you would show up!"

Tim came around to stand in front of him and held out a red plastic cup to Nathan. Without even taking it from his hand Nathan could smell the alcohol in the cup. "I'm not drinking Tim. If you remember that's kinda what got me in trouble before."

"I thought hitting Haley was what got you in trouble."

Nathan sighed and shook his head. "Jesus Tim. Why do you think that even happened?" Nathan could tell by the look on his face that he had no idea what he was talking about and instead of waiting for the light bulb to go off in his head he just shook his head before walking away from him.

He walked into the kitchen and saw Brooke leaning up against Jake and Lucas talking to some of the guys from the team. He looked around for Peyton sure that if Lucas was around then she probably wasn't far off. Since he'd been back he had noticed that the two of them seemed to always be together. They should have stopped acting like they were in middle school and just admitted they had feelings for each other. It seemed simple to him, but maybe he was wrong.

Looking to the left he saw Peyton sitting at the kitchen table on the other side of the counter. She was sitting next to Haley. The instant he saw her he thought maybe he should have turned around and walked back out. He was supposed to be staying away from her. But it seemed like she was always around. It made it pretty hard to stay away from her if she was everywhere he went.

Like she had sensed his presence she looked up from where she currently sat talking with Peyton. His eyes locked with her and he wanted to look away, pretend like he hadn't even noticed her, but he couldn't. He noticed the way her upper lip rose in a look of disgust at the sight of him before she downed whatever was in her plastic cup. He was sure whatever it was, was alcoholic. No way would anything virgin be served at a party Felix was throwing. But he knew that Haley wasn't much of a drinker. What was she even doing here anyway?

He shook his head before turning around and trying to find something that would keep him occupied while he was there. If things were like they used to be he would have been joining in a drinking game or dancing with Rachel. Speaking of Rachel…

"Hey Nate," she said walking up behind him.

He turned around and faced her and sent her a smile. "Rach."

"I'm surprised you showed up. Felix told me that he invited you but I didn't think you'd come."

"Brooke made me," he said nodding toward his sister who stood in the kitchen with her boyfriend.

"I see," she said and then looked back at him. "Well I'm glad you did. It's not really a party without Nathan Scott."

"Don't see what it matters really," Nathan said. "I mean, I'm sure you all managed fine without me."

Rachel reached out and grabbed his arm. "Nothing's the same without you Nathan."

He pulled his arm back and shook his head. "Isn't your boyfriend around here somewhere?"

"I'm sure he is," she replied, "but so what?'

Nathan shook his head. "Stop it Rachel. We're done. You made sure of that a while ago. Nothings gonna change now that I'm back."

"You don't know that," she said, "we could change things if we want." She took a step closer to him and leaned in, "I told you, I miss you Nathan. Maybe things can go back to the way they were."

"No," Nathan said and took a step back from her. He looked away from her and saw Felix walking towards them. He could tell by the stumbling in his step that he was well on his way to getting wasted.

"You came," Felix said and smiled, "I'm glad man. Dude it's not a party without you."

"That's what I hear," Nathan said before looking at Rachel one last time before walking away from them both. He walked towards the sliding glass doors of the patio and when he got there he opened them quickly so he could be outside. He was suddenly hit with a breeze as he stepped onto the wood of the porch. People were talking around him but he didn't care. He needed to get away from everything inside.

He walked over to the porch swing and sat down. He looked at the lake in front of him and watch the reflection of the sky on the water. It seemed peaceful. It was like the universe around him was so oblivious to all the shit that people were causing. He wished that he could be oblivious to everything too.

He sat there for what had to have been an hour. Maybe more. He really wasn't paying attention to the time. He wasn't paying attention to anything until he heard the door open. He turned his head and watched as Haley stumbled out the door. At first he thought it was because of her limp but as he watched her he knew it was because she was drunk. What the hell was going on? Haley James didn't get drunk.

She grabbed the railing in front of her and leaned over it a bit. Nathan thought she was about to throw up. He moved on the bench and she turned around when she heard the sound of him shuffling in his seat. "What are you doing out here?" she asked.

Nathan was surprised by the fact that she was even talking to him. It was just the alcohol though. "What?" Nathan asked.

"Why are you here? Why are you always around?"

"Look Haley-"

"I mean it wasn't enough that you ruined my life," she said pointing at him, "but now I have to see you all the time."

He couldn't pretend like her words didn't sting him. But she was right.

"Haley I'm so sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I could take back that night. But you don't get it. I ruined everything for me too. I would give anything to change that night."

"Well that doesn't change anything," she said, "I still can't dance and you fucked up everything."

Nathan stood up and was about to walk inside when suddenly Haley turned around and leaned over the railing before throwing up over the side. Nathan looked around and was grateful that no one else was around to see that. He knew Haley and he knew that she would be mortified if anyone had seen that. He walked over to where she was standing and gently reached for her hair. He pulled it back behind her shoulders while she continued to puke over the railing.

When she stopped she stood up straight and took a step sideways away from him. "Don't touch me," she said and looked at him.

"Just let me help you," he said.

"You've done enough."

She tried to walk away from him but another wave of nausea hit her and she leaned back over the railing before throwing up more. "You really can't hold your liquor," Nathan said and shook his head. "I'll be right back," he said before walking back through the doors and back into the kitchen. He saw Brooke in the kitchen drinking so he knew that she was not in any shape to be a designated driver. He spotted Peyton standing against the counter and he hurried over to her.

"You been drinking?" he asked.

"What?" she asked, "No, why?"

"I need a ride."

* * *

Peyton looked Haley slumped over the side of the deck. She cringed as she heard Haley releasing dry heaves and watched as they shook her small frame. "I didn't know she was drinking that much."

"We just need to get her home," he said.

Nathan walked closer to her and lifted her in his arms like she weight nothing. "Put me down Nathan!" Haley yelled, "don't touch me!"

Nathan ignored her as he walked around to the front and towards Peyton's Comet. Peyton unlocked it and Nathan helped Haley into the back before getting up front. Peyton started the car and began the drive back towards their neighborhood. The drive was mostly silent except for Haley complaining from the back seat.

When they pulled into the neighborhood Nathan got out of the car and went to the back door to Help Haley out of the car. By now she had stopped trying to fight him. "Your mom working late?" he asked her.

"Yep," she replied, "as usual."

Nathan nodded to Peyton to let her know that it was ok for her to leave. "Thanks," he said before he started to walk with Haley towards the door. When they reached the door Nathan bent down and reached for the key under the mat.

"How'd you know it was there?" Haley asked as she slumped against him.

"It's been there as long as I've lived next door to you."

He unlocked the door before helping her inside. He turned on the light and then began to help her upstairs. This house hadn't changed at all. When they finally got up the stairs he picked her up again and walked down the long hall. It was easier than trying to get her to walk the length of the hall. He reached her room and opened the door.

He placed her on her bed and saw that she was already almost asleep. He tucked her hair behind her ear before walking back towards the door. He had to get out of there in case her mom was getting home soon. He was supposed to stay away from her and being in her room was like the opposite of staying away from her. "Nathan," he head her quiet voice say as he reached the door.

"Yeah?" he asked as he turned around.

"This doesn't change anything."

Nathan hung his head down and then looked back up at her before nodding. "I know."


	5. Come Undone

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Tree Hill or its characters**

**So so sorry for the wait! I don't know how I let myself get so behind with this story.**

**Chapter 5: Come Undone**

Haley stood in the kitchen with a cup of coffee in her hand. Her head was killing her. She didn't remember much from the night before, but she kept getting vague flashbacks. Something that was standing out to her was puking over the railing at the party and having Nathan carry her to her bed. That was the most mortifying thing of all.

She hated looking weak in front of anyone, but in front of Nathan? She would have rather died. The idea of Nathan thinking that he needed to swoop in like some hero was ridiculous. She didn't need him to take care of her.

There was a knock on the door and the sound caused Haley to rub her temples. Her head was still pounding as she made her way towards the door. Her leg was also starting to sting a little. When she reached the door she was surprised by who she saw on the other side.

Brooke was standing on the other side dressed in a pair of gray sweats and a white Ravens Cheer hoodie. Her hair was pushed back with a head band and she was holding something in her hand. She smiled slightly at Haley when she opened the door, but Haley could tell by the look on her face that she felt awkward standing there in front of her.

"Hey," Brooke said.

"Hi," Haley replied. This was the most they talked since the accident.

"I have your jacket."

Brooke stuck out her hand that held the black jacket that Haley had been wearing the night before. She hadn't even realized that she'd been missing it.

"You left it in the back of Peyton's car and she asked me to get it back to you."

"Oh," Haley replied, she'd forgotten that she was even in Peyton's car the night before. Great, how many other people had helped her get back to her house? "Thanks."

She reached out and took it from Brooke who nodded. After taking it from her, she watched as Brooke continued to stay rooted to her spot on the porch. Haley wondered if she had more to say to her. Maybe she really wanted to yell at her. She could imagine that Brooke wasn't exactly happy with her. It was because of her that Nathan had been away for the past few months. And because of her that he had to keep his distance from everyone.

"Look," Brooke said, "Nathan would hate me if he knew I was saying this but… please cut him some slack."

"What?" Haley asked, taken aback by what Brooke was saying to her.

"I totally get that you probably don't want to be around him, but he's paid for what he did. He just wants to try and get his life back to normal."

"You think I don't want that?" Haley asked. "I'm sorry but you're right I don't want to be around him. I don't want anything to do with him. Sorry if that messes up his social life but to be honest I don't really care."

"I understand that. But you don't know how sorry he is and how much he's hating himself for all of this. Just please… don't hate him."

"I don't really know what you want me to do or say. Even if I did, I don't know that I could do it."

Brooke nodded, "I'm sorry Haley. I guess I just want… I just want things to be the way they were before."

"I don't think they'll ever be that way again."

"Yeah," Brooke said with a nod of her head, "anyway. Just wanted to make sure you got your jacket back."

"Thanks."

Brooke opened her mouth like she was going to say something else but she quickly shut it again before turning around and walking down the steps of the porch. Haley watched her walk across the grass and back towards her house. That was the most she'd talked to Brooke in what felt like forever and she couldn't stop the voice in her head that kept screaming at her about how much she had missed her best friend.

Brooke had after all be the one person she told everything to. She probably knew more about her than anyone else in the world. There wasn't a secret that she hadn't told Brooke. And now everything was different. It was so hard for her to be around her and not think of Nathan. She couldn't help but always see his face when she was around. She wished she could keep them separate them, but she just couldn't.

* * *

**January 18, 2010**

_Haley shut her locker after grabbing her biology book and she turned and faced Nathan. He was dressed in his collared shirt and tie and a pair of dress pants. His hair, along with most of the basketball team, had recently been shaved. She thought that most of them couldn't pull off the look, their heads weren't shaped right. But Nathan, he could pull it off. He was one of those guys who could probably pull off anything._

"_Ready?" Nathan asked?_

_When she nodded they both headed in the direction of their next class. Biology was Nathan's favorite class. When people thought of him they probably didn't think of smart as the first word to describe him. He was sure they thought of basketball, jock, popular. Not smart. But when it came to biology, he just got it. It made sense to him. And it wasn't too bad that he shared this class with Haley. _

"_We're just watching more videos today aren't we?" she asked. However, before he could answer Rachel walked up beside him. Haley rolled her eyes when she watched him stop so she could stand on her toes and place a kiss on his cheek._

"_Hi," she said with a smile before glancing at Haley._

"_Hey," Nathan replied and smiled back. Rachel was a good girlfriend. She always made him cookies before a game, she cheered the loudest of anyone there when it was time for the game and she was hot. Maybe they didn't really have anything in common and she didn't really get along with any of his friends, but she was good to him._

"_We still on for after the game?"_

"_Of course."_

_Rachel smiled again and kissed him on the lips before giving Haley another sidelong glance. She looked away from both of them before making her way down the hall to her next class. _

"_Ugh," Haley groaned, "why do you date her?" she asked as they walked into the classroom._

"_What?" Nathan asked with a laugh. "She's not that bad."_

_They took their usual seats next to each other and Haley dropped her books to her desk before taking her seat. Nathan sat down next to her and leaned back against the back rest before looking at her. He knew that she and Rachel didn't really get along, but he didn't know she hated her._

"_She's terrible," Haley said, "come on Nate you could so much better than her."_

"_Oh yeah?" Nathan asked with a smile, "and who should I be with? You?"_

"_Oh please," Haley said with a laugh, "yeah right. That's not what was saying. Just maybe you could find a girl who's actually smart."_

"_She's smart."_

_Haley turned in her chair and stared at him. "Are you forgetting that she failed freshmen geography because she couldn't find the US on a map?"_

_Nathan laughed and nodded, "ok, yeah that was bad. But she's really not that bad Hales. You guys just don't get along-"_

"_Yeah, because she's a bitch-"_

"_But maybe if you guys just hung out or something you could be friends."_

"_Not gonna happen."_

_The teacher began to speak telling them to pull out their notebooks and take notes during the videos. When the lights shut off Haley leaned closer to Nathan and whispered, "just think about what I'm saying. You could do way better."_

_The videos started and Haley turned her full attention to what was being taught. Nathan jotted down a few notes before turning his attention Haley. She didn't even notice that he was watching. There was something about Haley that made it hard to look away from her. She was captivating and she didn't even know it. Whether she was dancing or just taking notes in class she always caught his attention._

Thinking back on it now, Haley was right. Haley was always right. He definitely should have listened to her when she told him Rachel was bad news. She always saw the way people were right off the bat. She trusted her instincts and it took a lot to change her mind. He had a feeling she would never change her mind about him now. Too much damage had been done.

He wiped down the counter of the café and went to grab the pot of coffee so he could go around and refill cups. Jake had just finished his shift and he was waiting for Haley to get to the café. She would be closing with him tonight and he knew that meant more awkward run- ins. He wasn't sure why Karen would ever schedule them to work together.

"I have to run some errands," Karen said walking around from the kitchen, "will you and Haley be alright closing without me tonight?"

Karen hardly left them alone anymore, he had a feeling Haley had requested that. But now she would be gone and it would just be them.

"Oh," Nathan said, "are you sure that's a good idea?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine, Nathan."

"Yeah, but Haley-"

Nathan stopped talking when he heard the bell above the door. He looked over his shoulder and saw Haley coming through the door. She was dressed in a pair of sheer black tights and bulky white sweater dress with a pair of black boots. She had both her crutches under her arms and she was trying to avoid making eye contact with him as she struggled to get through the door. He wished he could help her, but he knew she would freak out if he came anywhere near him.

"Hey Hales," Karen said, "I was just telling Nathan that I'll have to run some errands tonight so I'll need you guys to close."

"Oh," Haley said, "is Lucas coming?"

"I don't think so," she replied as she slipped on her coat, "he's working at the shop with Keith tonight."

Inwardly Haley rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted was to be stuck here with Nathan. She knew Jake had already worked today and he wouldn't be coming in tonight and if Luke was at the shop he wouldn't be here either. It was just the two of them. She had just gotten to the café and she already knew that tonight would be one of the most awkward nights she would suffer through.

"Oh," Haley replied.

"But you have my number if you need anything." Karen slipped on her jacket as she approached the door. She turned around once more and faced them both and smiled. "Thank you so much for closing. I wouldn't leave you if I didn't have so many errands to run."

"It's fine Karen," Haley said, "I can handle it."

Nathan looked up when she said that. Something about her tone of voice threw him off. The way she said I can handle it, like he would be no help at all. Like she had to do all of this on her own and he was just in the way. He could help if she would just let him.

"I know you can," she said with a smile before walking through the glass door signaling the bell above.

Haley watched as Karen left and soon it was just her and Nathan and a handful of customers. Luckily most of them had already been served and they wouldn't require too much attention. She grabbed the coffee pot off the counter where it sat next to Nathan's hands.

"I can do that," Nathan said and rushed around the counter. If Haley was on her crutches she probably wasn't up to going around the café refilling cups.

"No," Haley said quickly and propped her crutches against the counter. "I'm fine."

Nathan's eyebrows creased as he watched her try to not limp as she made her way towards the first table. Obviously she didn't want his help, but there was something different about it today; like she was even more pissed off at him than usual. He didn't know what he'd done now, but she was definitely pissed at him.

A couple left their table and Nathan hurried over to clear away their plates before Haley could have the chance to beat him to it. He just had a feeling that tonight would be a night filled with her trying to do everything without any help from him. But he wasn't about to let that happen.

He filled the gray tub with their coffee cups and plates and when he turned around he saw Haley standing at a table across the café watching him with serious eyes. It was like she was waiting for him to screw up at any minute. The look on her face just made him want to prove her wrong even more than ever.

Eventually all the people had cleared out of the café and it was almost time to close up for the night. Haley moved behind the counter and began to balance the register while Nathan wiped down the tables. She looked up at him and cleared her throat before speaking.

"You can just go home. I can do all this."

Nathan dropped the cloth on the table before turning around and looking at her. "I can help you."

"I don't need your help," Haley replied curtly.

Nathan took a few steps towards the counter and when he reached it he placed his palms on the surface before looking at her. She was trying to avoid his gaze but he knew that eventually she would have to look up at him. "Is this about last night?"

"What?" Haley asked, still staring down at the money in the register.

"Are you mad at me because of last night? Is that what's going on?"

"You think this is only because of last night?" Haley asked and slammed the register closed. "No, it's not just about last night. It's about May and every day since then. It's about the fact that it kills me to be around you. It kills me to see you."

Those words were like a knife in his heart. He didn't understand how life could throw such a curveball at him. How could she go from being one of his best friends, to being a girl that hated just the sight of him. Haley had been one of the few people who he felt like he could actually talk to. Like she didn't judge him and she was always there to listen when he needed it. Now she hated him and they could never go back.

She had finally looked up at him and he could see the tears in her eyes and he watched as one slipped down her cheek. He could feel the urge inside him to reach out and wipe it away, but he knew that was a bad idea.

She quickly brought her hand up to wipe away her tears. God, she couldn't believe she was crying in front of him now. It was bad enough what happened last night and now she was crying in front of him. She wanted to at least pretend like she wasn't a complete mess, but he was making that really hard.

"Haley," Nathan said quietly. "I'm so sorry. I know I've said it before and I know it still doesn't mean anything but if I could I would trade places with you. I would take all the pain I caused you away and I would-"

Nathan stopped talking abruptly when he heard the door open and the bell ding. He didn't turn around to see who had come in he just watched Haley look up at the door and smile.

"Hey," the person said and Nathan recognized the voice. It was Erik.

"Hi," Haley replied, still with a smile on her face.

Nathan turned around finally and saw Erik standing at the door. He was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a t-shirt and he watched the two of them intently. "Everything ok?" he asked when he caught sight of the fact that Haley was crying. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Haley replied with a shake of the head.

Nathan walked back over to the table he'd been at before and picked up the cloth before walking back into the kitchen. He really didn't feel like being alone around the two of them. Things were already weird enough.

Erik watched Nathan walk back into the kitchen and he made his way over to the counter before leaning across it to place a kiss on Haley's cheek. "Are you ok?" he asked a second later.

"Yeah," Haley replied, "I'm fine. You know I'm just kind of an emotional mess."

"You sure that's it?" he asked and motioned towards the kitchen before talking with a hushed tone. "Did he say something to you?"

"No," Haley replied. "Everything's fine. He didn't say anything to me."

Nathan stood just inside the kitchen listening to them talk. He could hear it in Erik's voice that he thought of him as scum. Not that he blamed him. He had destroyed the life of the girl he liked. But still, the fact that he thought he would say something to her to intentionally hurt her, it made him feel like shit. All he wanted was for things to go back to the way they were. He wanted her to want to be his friend again. God knew he never wanted to hurt her again.

"Ok," Erik replied and smiled. "You still up for that movie?"

Haley nodded and smiled. "Yeah. We're almost closed up and then we can go."

Nathan walked back out and headed towards the door. "The dishes are done, they're just drying. We all set here?"

Haley nodded her head but didn't look up at him. "Yeah, you can go."

Nathan nodded and pushed the door open before looking at Haley again. All he wanted was to keep talking to her. He wanted her to yell at him and get out all her frustrations. He wanted her to say everything to him that she'd been dying to say since he came home. He wanted things to be normal again.

* * *

Nathan walked in through the door and saw Brooke sitting at the kitchen island with a magazine laid out in front of her and to his surprised his mother was cooking at the stove. He wasn't sure when the last time he'd seen his mother cooking was. It had to have been a really long time ago.

"Hi Sweetie," Deb said and turned to look at him with a smile on her face. "How was work?"

"It was alright," Nathan replied, still confused at the scene in front of him. "You do know it's like 10 o'clock, I hope you're not cooking dinner."

"Well your father just got home and he hasn't eaten so I'm just whipping something up real fast. Have you eaten? Are you hungry? There's plenty for you too."

Nathan shook his head, "no I'm alright, I ate at the café."

Deb nodded her head. "It's so great of Karen to give you that job. I need to call her soon and thank her for that."

"Don't just yet," Nathan said, "I'm not sure how much longer I'll be working there."

"Why?" Brooke said with a laugh, not looking up from the magazine. "Aunt Karen fire you?"

"No," Nathan said with a shake of his head. "It's just with Haley there… things are kind of awkward and you know I don't wanna upset her by being there. Maybe I should quit."

"You work shifts with Haley?" Deb asked. "Why would Karen put you two together? She should know better than that."

"Stirring up trouble as usual."

Nathan looked up at the sound of the voice and he saw Dan come walking through the door and farther into the kitchen. His tie was loose around his neck and the top few buttons of his shirt had been undone and by the look on his face, it had been a long day. And leave it to Dan to make an entrance when the subject of Nathan working for Karen had come up.

"She's not," Nathan said, "it's not like I'm ever alone with Haley," he continued, choosing to leave out the details of tonight.

"I'd hope not," Deb said, "her mother would have a fit."

"I should talk to Karen," Dan said, "tell her that you can't be working shifts with Haley. She's just causing more problems for us."

"Dad it's fine," Nathan said with a shake of his head. Sometimes Dan could be so over dramatic. He was trying to make this a bigger deal than it needed to be and it was best if he just stayed out of it.

"We don't need any more trouble with Haley James and that mother of hers."

Brooke cleared her throat and stood up before walking out of the kitchen. Nathan knew it was hard for her to hear about Haley. She had lost her best friend through this whole ordeal and she wasn't taking it well, and rightly so. Nathan couldn't imagine what she was going through. They had practically been sisters and he was sure this was killing Brooke.

"Can you just drop it?" Nathan asked, "Christ Dad, you think Brooke really wants to hear about it?"

"Watch your mouth," Dan said before grabbing the plate of food that Deb had prepared. "Don't you talk to me liked that."

Dan stared at his son for a few more seconds before taking his plate and walking out of the kitchen. A few seconds later they could hear the sound of his office door shut. Nathan shook his head, he should have known he would go off to sulk in his office. He pretty much lived there now.

"Honey your dad's just under a lot of pressure at work. He doesn't mean to take it out on you."

Nathan shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

He walked closer to Deb before placing a kiss on the top of her head. "Night Mom."

Making his way out of the kitchen he hurried up the stairs and towards his room. He could still hear Dan's angry voice in his head and he just wanted to shut him out for awhile. But before he could do that, he needed to check on Brooke.

He lightly knocked on her door and a few seconds later she gave the ok for him to come in. When he pushed the door open he saw her sitting on her bed with her legs crossed and her laptop in front of him. "You ok?" Nathan asked and leaned against the door frame.

Brooke shrugged, "not really."

Nathan nodded his head, "yeah I understand that."

There was a silence that filled in around them before Brooke looked up at her brother. "Nathan, I'm so sorry. All of this is… so fucked up and I'm so sorry."

"It's fine, Brooke. I'll get through it."

"But… I feel so bad."

"Hey," Nathan said with a shake of his head, "you have nothing to feel bad about. This is all on me, remember? I can handle it."

"Maybe if I just told everyone-"

"Stop," Nathan said more sternly. "You have nothing to tell anyone. Everyone already knows what happened and nothing's gonna change that. It's over and done Brooke, just leave it alone."

He stared at her a few more minutes and watched her nod her head. "Ok."

He nodded and said goodnight to her before heading back towards his room. He walked through the door and turned on the light and walked towards his window before staring out. He saw Mrs. James's car parked in the driveway. She didn't work on Sunday nights. He figured Haley wasn't back from her date with Erik since he hadn't seen her light come on.

There were lots of nights that he had seen Haley in his room. Their rooms had always faced into each other's and when they were kids they used to use flashlights to signal each other. But that was a long time ago. They weren't kids anymore and things were really fucked up now.

**So this chapter's pretty short and not my favorite but I really wanted to update for you guys. I'm so sorry for the wait! I suck…**

**But please review and let me know what you think! Also the song for this chapter is Come Undone by Jackson Waters**


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